What The Shupe?!?

This column is an experiment. Like life. 

It is inspired by and at times penned by Mr. Shupe and his particular way of moving through the world. If asked, Mr. Shupe will sometimes reference a stoic mindset: the awareness that external events, the past, and the future are outside our control. We can only control our own attitude, words and actions while attending to the present moment. Stoicism is not the lack of emotion but an ability to step back from and examine emotions with curiosity. 

In this spirit, this column is a meditation on happenstances and reactions to the drudgery and amusement of everyday encounters. 

Yesterday’s procedure glued braces to the top row of his teeth. In eight weeks, he goes back to receive more alloy that will wrap around his bottom row. And because the doctor diagnosed Sebastian with an “extreme overbite,” it also means he will get rubber bands to connect his top and bottom teeth in order to force his lower jaw to grow forward to get closer to meeting the alignment of his upper jaw. 

Or something like that. 

For the next two years, Sebastian is expected to pick and choose the types of food he eats based not just on taste or personal health goals -  but on whether the act of chewing will cause pain and/or leave food particle remnants in between metal wire/brackets and his teeth/gums. 

I acknowledge that promoting straight chompers is a necessary step in the effort to achieve the desired selfie aesthetic. But doesn’t subjecting humans to medieval torture during the already complicated puberty era of life only highlight the problematic value of vanity?

I mean, are perfectly straight teeth absolutely necessary to adequately break up cuisine before peristalsis occurs?

More simply: WTS?

Check out past What the Shupe?! articles: